HEADING OFF A PALACE COUP
Sheila Nielsen, M.S.W., J.D.

“She’s a nice person especially once you get to know her well, but a number of associates are complaining about working for her.  I can tell you that she sometimes gives her associates last minute projects, but other partners do that too. So there’s something else going on and frankly I don’t know what it is. Maybe you can figure it out.”  I was getting a referral from the human resources director of a large law firm.  He had been told by the managing partner that this female partner was upsetting the associates she worked with.  She had been strongly advised to meet with me for executive coaching.

The human resources director also explained that the firm was hoping to keep all of the associates and this partner on board despite some hard-to-define tension that threatened to erupt into someone’s expulsion from the firm. “ I should tell you,” he said, “if things don’t work out here we will have to ask this partner to leave the firm even though she’s a good business developer.”  That was a surprise.  Usually it’s the associates who pay the ultimate price for personality clashes at a law firm, not a highly productive partner.  What was going on here?

I met with Julie a few days later.  She swept into my office with an imperial air.  She was a beautiful, self-confident, perfectly dressed Asian woman who shook my hand firmly, immediately establishing her authority and dominance.  Along with her dynamic presence, she conveyed, in our early conversation, a sense of critical skepticism about people generally, and about whether I could be the least bit helpful to her.  No doubt she was reacting to the humiliation of being sent to work with me on her management skills.  But even taking that into consideration, she was a highly judgmental person, and I doubted that she was aware of this quality in herself or how it must be affecting the way others reacted to her.

Julie began advocating her position right away.  She was “affronted and shocked” by this turn of events at her firm.  Nobody had complained to HER about her management skills and suddenly THIS.  “Besides, I really don’t think I have a problem.”  

“How do you see it?” I asked.  “How do you understand the circumstances at your firm that brought you here?”

She thought she was the victim of sexism.

Sexism is always a possibility when there is a powerful woman experiencing what seems to be an unfair playing field.  That issue is very hard to uncover or expose or be sure about since nobody goes around wearing a sign announcing their sexist intentions.  But very often there is more to the story.  When I see a female attorney in a position of authority who is struggling to maintain her status, I have learned to pay attention to the Machiavellian power plays going on behind the scenes.  Put people together in a group and you are usually going to get conspiratorial power politics, in part because few people in the work world are brave enough or foolish enough to tell other people the truth.  People say things to other people surreptitiously and maneuver themselves into position to gain power, using other people’s agendas to advance their own goals.  When the group dynamics at a firm target an individual as a problem person, the matter is likely to be more complex and nuanced than pure undiluted sexism although sexism might be a big factor.  In Julie’s case I was sure that her judgmental attitude was part of the problem.

I asked Julie to describe the other partners she worked with to see if we could gain a better understanding of the events that led to her referral to me.

She mentioned in passing that one of her partners was a “power hungry guy” who was making a bid for a management position that she was also being considered for.  

That caught my attention.

Then I asked her to help me understand her relationships with her associates.  “Tell me about your interactions with each associate who has trouble working with you.”  Interestingly, all of them were younger women.  Although Julie tried to be positive about them, her distaste for each of them was evident.  She criticized their writing ability, their intelligence, their dedication to work, even their clothing choices.  She talked about how much more dedicated and hard working she had been when she was an associate.  

“Your associates sound like they are not measuring up to your standards,” I ventured.  She agreed enthusiastically.  

“What do you write about them when you do their reviews?”  

“I put down anything positive I can come up with,” she said, rolling her eyes.  “I have to be positive because I need these people.  I have to have these associates stay on to do my work even though they are not very good.”

In Julie’s estimation these associates were not only lazy but unfair and mean-spirited.  They were apparently making unaccountably negative comments about her behind her back for no reason at all, while she was forced to suffer their lackluster performances and pretend that they were capable and helpful lawyers.  This charade made Julie feel understandably angry and annoyed, even martyred.  And her frustration was evident.

“But I never let on to anyone how I really feel about these associates,” she confided.  “You’re the first person I’ve told about this.  I am absolutely sure that no one at the firm has any idea I feel this way.”

I had my doubts about that.

My working hypothesis was that her associates were acutely aware of her distain and disapproval of them and had been grumping about her behind her back.  It was a good bet that since so many of them had negative reactions to her, they were emboldened to report their dissatisfaction to more powerful partners at the firm.  Hearing about these complaints, possibly even encouraging the associates to voice their dissatisfaction with Julie, the partner who was making his power play was able to utilize the complaints of these unhappy associates as ammunition against her with the managing partner.  This would account for the unusual comment made by the human resource director that Julie would be the one targeted for elimination, not one or more of the complaining associates.  Of course given the way that most office politics get played out, Julie would be told none of this.  She would only learn that the associates had complained.

Using this hypothesis, I also wondered whether Julie’s referral to me for executive coaching might be part of the power play.  Since she had been sent for remedial work on her people skills, she could be portrayed as a poor choice for advancement to a management position. I discussed these ideas with Julie and she found them not only credible, but likely.  
 

Then came the more difficult work we needed to do.  Assuming our theory was right, what should she do to advance her career at this firm?

Our work focused in part on how to interact effectively with people at her firm, including her associates.  I found that after creating a good alliance with Julie she was able to listen to my feedback about how she came across in her interactions with me and with others.  She was willing to dissect and explore those behaviors that others might perceive and respond to as haughty or demeaning, for example.  She turned out to be wonderfully adept at learning and changing her way of interacting once she saw how destructive the negative group dynamic was to the cohesion of her practice work group, and to her success at the firm and with clients.

At my urging, Julie met with each of her associates for lunch one-by-one.  She invited their complaints and re-stated their complaints back to them to demonstrate her understanding.  She created a dialogue with each woman and better relationships resulted with most of them over time.

Julie was also willing to look at some of her underlying personality constructs that caused her to convey a sense of superiority, skepticism, criticism, and arrogance in her interactions with other people.  To her credit she was able to recognize in herself that she had a very loud internal critical voice that drove her to excel but also tortured her.  She had trouble turning it off.  She could never do things well enough for her inner taskmaster, even when she was doing her best.  This same voice ran a critical tape of judgmental commentary about everyone else in the world and how they were missing the mark even more than she was.  When her associates did poorly, this internal voice would denigrate them, but, interestingly, she would also get the competitive thrill of doing so much better than her lackluster sisters.  There was a part of her that wanted to be the only successful woman around.  But of course that attitude was leaking out, poisoning her relationships with her associates, which was clearly counterproductive to a good working group, and ultimately to her success with her clients and her firm.  These insights were epiphanies for Julie and she was remarkably smart about using them to reshape her behavior.

We worked on the problem of last minute work assignments and how to delegate tasks more effectively.  At my urging, Julie implemented a number of procedural changes in the way she organized herself and managed others.  These new strategies worked well enough to convince her to keep using them.

We addressed the issue of the potential power play for a management slot that might have been the real reason that she was referred to me.  After some consideration, Julie decided that at least for now, she did not want management responsibility at her firm and preferred to spend her time developing and running her practice because this was what she loved to do.  She let it be known that she was pulling out of the race for a management position at the firm.  If our hunch was right, this would create a clear path to management for the partner striving to get ahead.  Once he realized that she posed no threat to his aspirations he would stop plotting to “kill her off.”  We would watch to see what happened over time, after she made this strategic announcement.

In the next few months Julie did a great job of creating better relationships with her associates.  I could track her behavior change by monitoring her descriptions of interactions at work.  I also personally experienced a change in her manner of relating to me.  She developed more of a team approach to management.  She began to include her associates in her business development activities which must have helped them to feel valued by her.  Although they were not always the perfect associates, once she became more encouraging she discovered that they each had skills that would support the practice group.  Julie learned to encourage those skills by giving constructive but also supportive feedback and by delegating tasks with a greater clarity of expectation and timeliness on her own part.  She changed her conceptual attitude about the work being done; it was not only “her” work, but “their” work.

At my urging, she also looked for reasons to frequently thank each person who worked for her for something that person had accomplished which was helpful to the success of the group as a whole: going beyond the call, staying late, meeting a difficult deadline, writing a good answer and so forth.  Obviously this helped her associates to feel better about working with her.  In addition she learned that she was able to be more honest about telling her associates how they could improve as long as she also provided support and positive feedback to them and delivered her message with the right tone.

As for our hunch about the competitive partner, it seems to have been right.  Signaling her lack of interest in a power position at the firm has resulted in benign neglect.  Julie has been left alone to develop her practice without further interference.  Her position at the firm is no longer in jeopardy, her associates are more productive, satisfied, and loyal to her, and Julie has created a more effective team to support her thriving practice.

ADVICE FROM YOUR GODFATHER PARTNER
Sheila Nielsen, M.S.W., J.D.

Jake, a senior associate who hadn't done anything to deserve being fired was going to be eliminated. I received the call to set aside outplacement counseling time for Jake from a precise young woman who handled human resource matters for this well-respected mid-sized commercial litigation firm.

"What a shame," she said. "We liked him so much. He is a very nice person, and he's smart and hard-working too."

"If he's so terrific, why is he being fired?" I ask.

"Oh well, he lost the partner that gave him most of his work and he wasn't able to find another one in time to support him for partnership.  He's a seventh year, you understand."

"What happened to his partner?" I query.

"Oh, you know, the partner left for another firm and took all his business with him."

Meeting Jake confirmed the glowing report I had received from the HR lady. He was smart, energetic, nice, and savvy too. I could even have added a few more positive adjectives to the list describing Jake. What could have happened to set the wheels in motion for Jake's demise at this firm?

"I feel like I was the target of a mob hit," he told me during our first session. "I guess I saw it coming, but too late. I didn't do enough to reposition myself quickly."

Jake had committed the sin of losing his Don Corlione, the partner who protected him and promoted him at the firm. For that he would be killed off by the brothers who ran this outfit.

"These days," I thought, "every new associate needs a straight-talking fairy godmother, or godfather (more like it) to educate him or her in the unspoken ways of the brotherhood. There can be hidden dangers on the road to partnership. The culture of a particular firm, the strength or weakness of the economy, your practice area, the personalities in your practice group, and a number of other factors are part of a sometimes surprising equation leading to success for certain lawyers and difficulties for others on the road to partnership.

As a general rule firms are not intentionally vindictive, vicious, or cruel to their associates. These days much of the trouble experienced by associates stems from a simple desire for self-preservation on the part of partners under a lot of stress in a heated up, competitive, uncertain work world. It is also true, however, that partners who are used to six figures are not about to metamorphose into Mother Teresas and give away their hard earned bucks to needy associates. Partners are just human beings who are usually trying to do the best they can for the firm and for themselves.

They may not always be able to have the best interests of their associates at heart. Therefore a young lawyer might benefit from the advice of a "fairy godfather partner" to tell him or her how to make it to partnership and avoid the career equivalent of a long walk off a short pier.
What cold, hard, unlovely truths would your straight-talking godfather tell you, the new associate, about the ways of the "family" you have joined?
Here are five scenarios you ought to hear about and you will never hear about from your real partner.

1. The Partner Who Brings in Business and Only Pretends He Wants You to do the Same.
   "Hey, buddy, as your partner I might not want you to spend your precious time scurrying around doing unbillable things around town soze you can become a big mucka muck like me. Let's just say I might be ambivalent, okay? Oh yeah yeah sure I tell you I want you to get clients, we all say that to you, but the truth is you gotta be my right-hand man. I got the clients. Now you get me the billables. You're my key to success in this dog-eat-dog world. See, I need your billable hours to be a player here.
   
   Yeah I know your career may be a lot less secure if you don't learn to bring in business and have time to develop clients. Cry me a river. You're clocking billables for me now, short stuff.
   
   Of course if you wanna be a player someday you'll figure out that clients are power and you'll do whatever it takes to get them. You'll write articles, get active in the Bar Association, speak about some special area you got covered better than the next guy. Look, it's not that I don't want you to succeed, it's that I gotta look out for number one. Capiche?"
   
    

2. You Just Joined the Law Firm That is Being Managed Like Enron.
   "Hey, Kid, I shouldn't be telling you this but you're at a firm that's being run by a bunch of greedy guys who are out to get big bucks for themselves. They don't care if they suck the lifeblood outta this joint in the process. Those in the know here have figured out that we're going down.
   
   This ship is sinking. Don't tell anyone, but a bunch of us are on the street right now looking for a new family, if you get the drift.
   
   If you ask me you shoulda asked around before you came here. Sometimes you can find out a lot about the reputation of an outfit before you go there. As a matter-of-fact you should make it your business to talk to people who used to work at the place you'll be joining to get the dirt.
   
   Look, no place is perfect, but some places stink. Some people got a lot to tell ya, kid...only, ya gotta ask."
   
    

3. You Work for a Partner Who is Not Making Rain
   "Let's face it, I'm a lousy rainmaker these days. The economy is a roller coaster, my clients are all breathing down my neck and threatening to find a better deal, and my divorce is unhinging me. I can't take the pressure. I gotta hoard as many billable hours for myself as I can.
   
   Remember all those good reviews you used to get? Fagetaboutit!
   That was when I could afford to keep you. Things have changed. So lately I have been giving you bad reviews. I say you're not working out so well and that you need to improve. Hey, listen, I need a fall guy, but you didn't hear that from me. I gotta keep up appearances or I'll be the next target. So pack your bags, kiddo. Better you than me on the street. You're young.
   
   Next time find yourself a partner with a strong practice area with a lot of work, who will bring you along to meet his clients so you can see how it's done. You say you can't help it? You got assigned to me? That's right, but you might have finessed a move. You might need to change law firms to get what you need. That's okay so long as you make that move understandable to your potential employer and keep the next job for a long time. Look around and see how the survivors do it. Next time hitch your wagon to a star. Yeah, and look for practice areas that not only have potential for the future but that really float your boat as well."
   
    

4. Everyone's Too Chicken to Tell You the Truth and then You're Sleeping with the Fish.
   "Listen up, kid, you need to improve your game. Your turn-around time is too slow. You're not playing politics well enough. Remember the day Ed asked you to do his memo over the weekend and you said you were too busy?
   
   That was not a You're gonna be on the hit list if you don't get with it.
   
   Yeah, I know your reviews are good. Everyone is saying nice stuff about you. The truth is no one wants to point out your faults or tell you how this place really works. Don't ask me why it's such a big secret around here how the associates are really doing. All I know is that most guys don't like to give people bad news. They'd rather tell 'em everything is great, give 'em good news, and then put out the hit. Let someone else do the dirty work.
   
   You wanna know what to do? You gotta go to the partners you trust and tell 'em you want the truth about your work and how you're doing and what you could improve. And take the secretaries you trust to lunch. Find out the buzz. Even find out the buzz about you. It's not always easy to figure out the truth about how the boys see you. Be thankful if someone tells it to you straight. Maybe you can get your game going better and end up at the top of the heap instead of at the bottom. Good luck, kid."
   
    

5. You and Your Partner are in a Dying Practice Area.
   "Practice area rise and fall and guess what, we're in one that is going down for the count. It might rise again some day, but I'm not sure how soon. You know I'd try to help you make partner here, but I haven't got the clout because I haven't got the receivables. If you're not a player in the outfit, you're out of luck.
   
   Hey, but at least you got a chance to make a clean break. You can re-invent yourself in some other practice area. Maybe you'll have to change firms or go back to school, but a least you can make it out alive. Me, I'm a goner. It's just a matter of time before the big boys show up to fit me for those concrete shoes. So long, kid, and don't say I didn't warn you."
    

Organization at Work
Sheila Nielsen, M.S.W., J.D.

His office was a mess. Piles of books and papers littered the floor around his desk. Stacks of cases and advance sheets teetered on the edge of his credenza. His office was a jungle of work stuff creeping ever closer to the last sanctuary of open work space, the center of Brad's desk.

Brad was not particularly upset with the state of his office. Sure it was an organizational nightmare, but he was at home there. He had always lived and worked in a tangle of his favorite things: newspapers, books, papers, trinkets. His college dorm room had looked the same way. The only reason his home was more organized was because his wife insisted on straightening it up. But he often told her to stop worrying about the mess and concentrate on more important things in life.

Brad's incentive to change came after he blew a crucial deadline on a major case just before his partnership review. This error dashed his hopes for making partner with some of the other leaders in his class. Instead of getting the brass ring he was put on probation and scrutinized by the partners. He was crushed. He had been one of the stars of his firm up to this point. This was a blow to his self-esteem. He was determined to get back into the good graces of the equity partners.

Brad came for career counseling to improve his performance at work.
"I've never cared about appearances. I pride myself on being able to remember things extremely well. I don't need a to do list. I can remember phone numbers without writing them down. Besides, I kind of like the mess," he confessed with a sly little smile as if he were getting away with something. We talked about that smile and the feelings behind the smile.
What did he get out of the organizational chaos that was so rewarding he needed to defend against losing it? We had a really good talk about that smile.

Brad was in his 30's. He and his wife had bought a house recently and they were expecting their first child in a few months. Brad revealed that it was hard it was for him to believe he was this grown up. "I really can't believe that I am not a teen-ager anymore. I guess I feel sort of boxed in and less free. I used to play guitar with a group of guys. I don't do that anymore. But I don't want to lose my sense of freedom. I can see where this is all going. Look, someday I'll be as stodgy as the rest of them, I guess.

But I'm too young to be one of the walking dead." Clearly Brad felt a sense of teen-age pride about his messy office. It helped him feel he was not giving in to a gray flannel world that represented the strangulation of his spirit.

Brad was honest enough to reveal, however, that there had been other nearly missed deadlines, and that he often procrastinated. He often started a number of different projects, bounced from one thing to another, and barely finished on time. As Brad progressed at work, he became involved in more complex litigation matters which meant his lack of organization damaged his image and his ability to perform at the highest level. This pattern would only get worse. Brad recognized that it was time to change his work habits in the interest of making partner and furthering his career.

Our work needed to proceed on two fronts. First, Brad needed some organizational games to play. If he could play these games consistently, he would develop organizational skills that would eventually clear up the mess in his cases and in his office. But we also needed to proceed on the second front, challenging his hidden wish to maintain the office equivalent of a grungy teen-ager's bedroom because organization represented selling out to deadening adulthood.

I gave Brad some organizational games to play and asked him to change his work habits. If he was not more efficient after playing these games for a few months, I promised him he could return to his old habits.

1) The first game is Early Alzheimer's.
Write down everything. Keep a running "to do" list on a legal pad on the top of your desk. If you are making a phone call, write down the phone number next to the item so you do not need to look it up again. Use thick black magic marker to cross off what you have accomplished. Whenever you are distracted you can return to your work where you left off.

2) Play The Ball is in Their Court.
After you have made your "to do" list, put a small box in front of each item. When you have done what you can to accomplish the task, put a cross in the box, and if someone else now needs to respond, put a circle next to the box to designate that the ball is in their court. If the person calls you back but you are not there, cross off the circle and add a new box because you now need to call back. This system tells you exactly where you stand in the call-back game.

3) Organize every case with a sheet secured to the front of the file with your "to do" list right there.
Play "the ball is in their court". Have phone numbers right next to each item. Play Break up. Break up big tasks into smaller ones. For example, let's say you have to write a massive memo. Start with: "research cases to 1980" and put a box next to it; then, "research cases after 1980", add another box; review similar memo written by Sue, another box, etc. The object of this game is to cross off all the boxes you can.

4) Everything Has a Home.
At the end of the day everything on your desk goes home. No Clutter Allowed! Clutter distracts most people and makes it too easy to lose things which wastes time.

5) Play Pitch It!
Make liberal use of the garbage can. The minute you can get rid of unnecessary paper, throw it out to reduce clutter and decrease distraction.

6) Write out your plan for the day on 5x7 notecards.
Play Prediction. On one side of the card list the work promises you make to yourself for the day. Be realistic. Use a thick black magic marker to erase everything you finish. Whatever you do not finish gets added to the notecard for tomorrow. Your goal is to have a totally blacked out card by the end of the work day.

Brad played these simple games. At first it took time to create "to do"
lists for each active file, find "homes" for things that had not been put away before, and get in the habit of writing things down. Soon his office was better organized and his cases were under control. This new system also helped Brad to conquer procrastination. At first Brad wrote down the bigger projects over and over on his daily 5x7 "promises to himself" card, but eventually he could see he never got the bigger tasks done. Tired of his broken promises, he broke up the big projects into smaller assignments and got them done more quickly once they were not as overwhelming.

At the same time that Brad incorporated new ways of organizing himself, we talked about his difficulty transitioning into adulthood: what adulthood meant to him, and why it was so frightening to him. We talked about whether his loyalty to the disorganized life of his childhood and teenage years would realistically prevent the numbing effects of adulthood he so feared.

Brad decided that he could keep his "inner child" alive not by living in a chaotic work environment, but by engaging in activities that were more creative and fun for him such as playing in a jazz band with friends, and joining a basketball league.

After a few months of maintaining new habits, people at work, including his partners, complimented Brad and told him he was doing a great job. Brad began to get more challenging assignments again. This system worked very well for him. He decided not go back to his old habits. Brad recently received a bonus and all indications are that he will make partner this year.
 

PERFORMANCE REVIEW
Sheila Nielsen, M.S.W., J.D.

For Sara, review time was a little like playing bingo. Sara believed that receiving good performance reviews from her partners was a matter of luck. A fourth year at a medium-sized litigation firm, Sara worked for four different partners, but more and more of her work was coming from Kate, the only female partner at the firm. Sara realized that she had not done many depositions, but she had not been given the chance to do them either. Other associates had snapped them up while Sara had been busy doing her partners' biddings. She was also relieved not to have to do depositions because she was nervous about them. She planned to do more depositions next year. She had put in long hours and had gone the extra distance to respond to Kate's requests even though Kate was anxious, perfectionist and notoriously critical. All-in-all Sara thought she had done a good job during the year.

When Sara read her reviews she was stunned. Kate had given her a flatly negative review. Kate's review dwelled on Sara's lack of deposition experience and stated that she ought to remedy the problem if she wished to progress. Sara's first reaction was anger. How was she supposed to get more deposition experience if she was never given the opportunities? How could this partner judge her so harshly after all Sara had done to help her?

Sara came for counseling to figure out what she should do about her review. The negative feedback had taken the wind out of her sails at work.
She felt deflated and angry, misjudged and unfairly treated.

What do you do if you get a negative review?

First, consider the source, the motive, and the validity of the critique. Sara's partner, Kate, was notoriously demanding, frank, and overly critical. Sara's other partners had not been as negative. In fact most of their comments were positive, although they too noted her lack of deposition experience. Kate's comments were particularly harsh because she was a blunt, no-nonsense kind of person.

Kate had another motive for her negative review. She needed Sara's help more than the other partners. Kate was overloaded with work, and had come to rely on Sara more and more. It was likely she wanted to turn more work over to Sara, including depositions in her clients' matters, but she needed to have faith in Sara's ability to handle depositions before she would entrust Sara with this next level of responsibility. Understanding this, Sara was able to see how her lack of deposition experience was a burden to Kate. Kate's review was perhaps too sharp, but the message was valid.

Although a negative review hurts, corrective feedback early in your career can be the best thing that happens to you if you take it the right way. Some partners are too busy, others are too faint-hearted to tell you what you need to hear to improve your performance. I have done outplacement work with attorneys who believed everything was going well until they were let go or failed to make partner.

What can you do to have a good performance review? The key to a good performance review is to take charge of your development as a lawyer.

Here are some pointers to enable you to have the best possible performance and performance reviews at your firm.

1) Identify your own goals for your professional development, both short-term, and long-term.

2) List the skills and abilities you will need to develop or improve to attain your goals. Keep a skills-needed list.

3) Identify impediments that keep you from achieving your goals.

4) Write down a game plan for achieving the goals you have identified.
Your blueprint should include ways to overcome impediments you have listed.  Keep a "to do" list with target dates for completing each item.

5) During the year, do your own assessment of your work every 2 to 3 months. Keep track of your successes and write down positive comments from clients, judges, opposing counsel, and partners. Note the circumstances, date and time of the comments. Keep a list of your non-billable contributions to the firm. Note your networking and marketing efforts.

6) Prepare for your review as you would for trial. You are your own advocate. Be ready to discuss your development using illustrations to support your points.

To her credit, Sara took charge of her career after her negative review.
She took a NITA training course, found a senior associate who mentored her, learned about depositions by reading materials and listening to tapes, and actively sought and got depositions. Her efforts paid off with strong reviews the next year and more challenging work. Sara gained control over her development as a lawyer and no longer felt her success was left to chance.